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It has become more common with each decade passing, that both parents must work full-time jobs in order to make ends meet. The hopes of raising a family in the same manner as 'The Wonder Years' or 'Leave It To Beaver' have become a thing of the past. Due to the financial crunch most families are in, parents are putting in as many hours as possible at work. Unfortunately, this can also mean that a lot of children and adolescents go through those lengthy shifts alone. You feel like a full time employee, and a part time parent.
As a mother who owns her own business, I feel this pain sense of defeat on a daily basis. One of the biggest complaints I hear from working parents is the anguish of feeling they are failing in the parenting department, because their time is wrapped up in work. We miss classroom parties. Ballgames. Plays. Concerts. The list goes on and on. The alternative though is not an option, In order to keep a warm roof over the heads of our loved ones, these are things we must sacrifice being a part of. The guilt can be as heavy as an elephant on your shoulders.
The big question is, how do we balance it all?
I've compiled a list of what seems to be the most popular sugestions given by so many of us floating in this boat. Maybe some of these ideas will be helpful with your busy schedule as well. The list is in no specific order.
You get off work, and once home, continue to work. There's dirty dishes in the kitchen, laundry in the hallway, and meals to cook. Just to name a few. Maybe it's time to delegate a few tasks to others in the home. If they can lift a hand, and accomplish some of these things BEFORE you get home, that gives you more time to spend together. Plus relieves a bit of stress.
Discuss with your family your frustrations. Just keep in mind that it is not a time to vent, but rather a time to be heard, and give them a chance to be heard as well. If you can keep the communication lines open, it can help everyone be more supportive of each other.
If you are as stubborn and hard-headed as I, the thought of asking for help from outside your home makes you cringe. It gives you a feeling of inadequacy. Makes you wonder if they think you aren't a good parent. You worry that your children will feel they are being pushed off on someone else. In all actuality, confiding in someone you can trust, not only lifts some stress from your shoulders, but is a lesson for your children's future as well. If they see there's no shame in doing what is best for those you love, they will grow up with the same mindset.
Don't bring work home with you. Let those you work for, or with, know that once you are home, that is also where your mind is. Set some boundaries, in a professional manner. Leave your laptop closed once home. Turn your email notifications off. When home, let your family see that they are your priority, and THIS is home, aka family time.
As your children age, learn to make schedules. Abide by them as much as possible. Include your family in your schedule. Not only for your benefit, but for theirs as well. For example, make Sunday afternoon 'family game time.' Let them help you with the scheduling, so they feel included in the decisions. Make sure they understand that this is a schedule that you would like to stick to, but to also keep in mind that sometimes things happen that can't be stopped. Come up with a game plan for those instances as well. Keeping in mind that there is a difference in something unstoppable, and something you CHOOSE to not stop.
One of the most difficult steps in balance, is making time for yourself. Remember, you can't water a flower from an empty cup. This is so very important. Always remember that you are doing what is necessary for your family. The best thing you can do is keep communicating with them, on an age appropriate level of course. Keeping in mind that you are setting an example, which will have a huge impact on their future as well. Parenting is not simple. But loving your child is. It's impossible to add hours to a day. There will always be 24. But what you can do is make each of them count.
